Flipping Fabulously: Option " B" Working Through Grief
When my partner and I relocated to Charlotte, it felt like a new beginning, like we were newlyweds, just the two of us. We left behind the cold weather, family, and friends; it was just the two of us, like Bill Wither's song "Just the Two of Us." Unfortunately, within two years and two months, my partner passed away, and I was indeed left alone with the one of me.
Heart2Heart Cafe Bakery is a local bakery where I felt safe to be alone. As I entered, I noticed that a Bible study was in progress, and they asked me to join their session. The book they were discussing was "You Get Through This" by Max Lucado, which turned out to be a turning point for me.
“You'll get through this. It won't be painless. It won't be quick. But God will use this mess for good. In the meantime don't be foolish or naïve. But don't despair either. With God's help you will get through this.”
By Max Lucado
I realized that I was on a journey of self-discovery and the process wouldn't be easy. It took me a few years, but eventually, I understood that love is a constant companion that never leaves us. In retrospect, what were the chances of me arriving at that place at that time? The universe was working in my favor.
The journey I embarked on transformed me into a different version of myself. However, I realized that to thrive, I had to keep moving forward and dive deeply into self-discovery and mindfulness. As a result, I emerged with a new perspective on myself and my place in this world. Currently, I focus on making conscious choices about how I respond to life events. By changing my perspective, I experienced a 180-degree paradigm shift. I refused to give up on myself and found purpose again. I knew my soul fully understood who I had become, and I wouldn't let my age stop me from being all I could be. I became who I am today. The funny thing about human beings is that they are constantly evolving.
That shift was the beginning of my understanding that as I age, I gain many superpowers, which I can use to live a fulfilling life. I get to use these awesome skills every day, and I look forward to improvement and growth! I learned to believe in myself and to chase my dreams. There will always be new tasks to complete and ways to improve myself and my life. I joined exercise groups, learned how to play Pickleball, joined a book club, and started hiking. These activities were all
essential to increasing my social interactions and personal development.
One of the most important lessons I've learned is to find happiness in the present moment. Being focused on the future has benefits, as it's helpful for anticipating potential problems. However, the biggest drawback is that happiness is contingent on some future state that might or something that might not happen. Happiness shouldn't be a gamble on what's ahead; it's a gift we give ourselves in the present moment! You see, life can change at the drop of a hat. I have learned that everything usually works out at the end, and if it doesn't, it is probably not the end.
I am amazed by my transformation and excited to merge what I've learned after the loss of my loved one—my newfound self and my newfound wisdom. It seems like I have gained superpowers to be my authentic self.
How has losing a loved one changed you and your prospects in life?
